Who really cares - aside from the media and a few concerned fools in the political parties? I do believe that the general public's interest is being artificially stimulated by a media desperate for a story other than the continuing one about the deep economic shit we're in. And the bloody candidates, God protect us.
Dana: A faded pop singer with old-fashioned family values and strong religious beliefs. Light weight and ludicrous.
Gay Mitchell: A Fine Gael shill without an ounce of gravitas - and old-fashioned right-wing views. Even his own party have disowned him. It's now dawning on them that the vote they got in the General Election was a protest vote against Fianna Fail and not an indication of new Fine Gael loyalists.
David Norris: Please shut up. All bluster, bombast and bonhomie. I don't care about the pleading letters - loyalty and forgiveness are excellent qualities - it's his perpetual showing off and attention seeking I find tiresome.
Mary Davis: Those air-brushed posters, dear oh dear. She should have embraced her essential crone and we would have been more charmed. I'm sure she would make a presentable president but I remain suspicious of all those favours she got from Fianna Fail governments.
Sean Gallagher: All square-jawed testosterone and economic solutions. He'd make a great candidate for the Apprentice but not for president.
Michael D.: Sound as a bell on most issues. Is he a bit frail at this stage? He has the Irish and the poetic inclinations - a touch maybe of the Cearbhall Ó Dálaighs. And he may prove equally obdurate if matters of principle arise. Should win.
Martin McGuinness: The shadow of a gun man. He knows he can't win but he's a stalking horse for Sinn Fein's ambitions in the south and anything close to 20% of the vote will be seen as a huge success. He is also the only candidate who doesn't concur with the cosy economic consensus.